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It’s not that the Cheap Craigslist DJs have been in hibernation, but I’ll admit I got bored snarking on their same misspellings and bad grammar. Besides, isn’t the buzz all about Twitter now? So I put in “Wedding DJ” as a search term there to see what would happen. MUCH better snarking material and only 140 characters to boot! So let’s see what some of the horribly-bored-by-a-cheap-DJ wedding guests tweeteth:

DozaSaid: As I sit at this wedding reception dolo the DJ throws on “I Need Love” by LL Cool J…go to hell Mr. DJ.

Yikes! I can’t think of ANY wedding where that song would be appropriate, especially the part that says:
I wanna kiss you hold you never scold you just love you
suck on you neck, caress you and rub you
Grind moan and never be alone …
Clean and unsoiled yet sweaty and wet
I swear to you this is something that I’ll never forget

Something tells me the groom may not need any suggestions for the honeymoon.

chrisrobb: I hate wedding dj’s how pretend that crap accent, are they taught that somewhere?

What kind of accent does crap have? I can see how it might be odorous, but what does it sound like? I agree that some DJs who get on the mic talk that faux 70′s Top 40 DJ puke. Having natural vocal skills is a completely different talent than mixing music. You might be good at one and suck at another.

heydjbobby: July 19th virginia beach wedding dj Sunday evening. Looking for a Hampton Roads Wedding DJ? http://www.heydjbobby.com/Hey DJ

I wonder if DJ Bobby’s bride client has any idea that with only 8 days until her wedding she has no DJ? Or maybe she does, since Bobby displays his Twitter feed on his website? If I was worried about covering a date, I don’t think I’d try to fill it where it could be seen by my clients!

ald2006: Dear DJ: if you’re “too busy” to even acknowledge that we asked you a question, why did u say u had the availability to do our wedding? :-/

Because lots of big cheap multi-op wedding DJ companies want you to book now, and they’ll worry about finding you a DJ after your check clears. Once some Cheap DJs have already gotten their hands on your money, good luck to you in getting them to return calls, let alone not even show up. That’s why some DJs are advertising $300 shows and others are $1200. Service, baby, service!

simonbairu: Worst wedding music ever! I think the dj is playing the ‘armageddon’ soundtrack mixed with some ‘sweet home Alabama’ Still a good time!

You know you love it.

The sheer verbosity of this “Best of Craigslist” ad is actually an oldie but  goodie, originally posted in 2003. Not only are his rates “ridiculously low,” but he urges you ask for a discount which are “given for non-profit, recurring events, and whatever other reason you can convince me to charge less.” Don’t forget your discount if you have your own gear and music. Huh?

D J Available – Cheap
Date: 2003-11-18, 5:04PM PST

Skills/Talent: High
Experience: Medium-well (gaining rapidly, thanks 2 CL and referrals)
Rates: Ridiculously low (see below)
Personality: Happy, fun, spunky, nice, Professional … Try me, You’ll like me!

Hi! If you want great music at your party, wedding or event, are on a small budget, don’t need loads of lighting effects and thumping bass overloads, please get in touch with me. I recently started DJ-ing professionally (for about 2 years now). I’ve been Designated DJ for parties with my friends for years, and somehow started spinning here and there just from recommendations. I have so much fun, it’s a hobby. Since i’m in need of some extra cash to pay my bills, I figured what better way to support myself than spend a few evenings having fun and spinning music.

My specialty is Playing Music for smaller parties and events. By small party I mean up to (or a little over)100-120 people. Depending on the type of sound you want, for larger parties I charge a bit more to cover my costs of renting bigger speakers, subs and lighting effects. Right now I prefer to keep it small and intimate, but am capable of producing big club sound if desired. I’ve been doing events for 40-120 people mostly, although more recently I have been hired for many larger events, including a highschool reunion with 250 guests, weddings and corporate parties with 150-200 guests, and I provided sound, lighting and music for a friend’s wedding with 300+ guests.

I have many larger events booked this summer and fall, so i’m adding to my sound system and CD collection pretty fast. My Equipment: I Own a deceivingly small portable sound system that sounds great. (details of equipment below) It’s been in ballrooms, backyards, boats, and balconies. On Cinco De Mayo we were dancing out on the deck of the Giants boat to loud latin grooves. The system sounded beautiful at the wedding banquet hall (300 guests, 5000sf) for amplifying the priest’s voice and playing ambient music at a background to medium volume. With an added subwoofer, the highschool reunion was a Booming success with a multimedia nostalgia presentation and a bouncing dancefloor.

Music: I listen to, and play, a lot of world music. I’m equipped with lots of asian rhythms, african and Caribbean beats, and latin grooves (Cheb i Sabbah, Tabla Beat Science, Gigi, Bebel Gilberto, Zuco 103, Afro Celt Sound System, Thievery Corporation, Gotan Project, etc … and some salsa, samba, swing, jazz, tango, chill, ibiza, house, dub…). I master smooth transitions between songs and have a good feel for the audience. I’m equally competent and happy playing many types of music (rock, swing, oldies, disco, 70s, 80s, modern, etc) but am limited on my music collection (although it is growing, I buy new CDs for each party, including yours). I have also recently done a few 12,13, & 14 year birthday parties (so I now have a lot of up to date hip hop and pop).

I spin CDs. I don’t have much experience spinning records. If you want vinyl, I understand and have recommendations.

Rates: Negotiable depending on length and details of event. Discounts given for non-profit, recurring events, and whatever other reason you can convince me to charge less. I have checked around and know that my rates are hundreds of dollars less than the norm. The reason is that it’s a hobby- side job, and I need just enough to cover my expenses and make a reasonable income. So here’s a range: $280 for 2 hours (music time) +$120 each additional hour. Above rate includes the basics stated above (base sound system). Discounts if you provide sound system and/or music. Additional if needed: Lighting effects- $50-200+ (my cost to rent) Additional speakers- $60-500+ (my cost to rent plus extra time to pick up and set up, will need to rent van for large speakers/subs – usually only necessary for events in large open spaces with 300+ people) (Added: I just bought a sub and some lighting, so add $50 for sub, $50 for basic lighting, and I am in the process of buying more speakers to accommodate the demand for larger events)

Note on Weddings and special events: I do not charge higher rates for weddings. My hourly rate prevails for any event. The only variables are based on sound system/effects needs (determined by the number of guests, size of space, and/or type of sound desired), and on additional preparation/planning time prior to the event. I offer preplanning / coordination services at a rate of $100/hr, which drops to $50/hr after 2 hours. This rate is for in-person consulting, planning, and verifying details with onsite staff and vendors. This rate is negotiable depending on your needs and extent of time.

I do not bill for my setup time. I start billing from the time I need to be set up until the time I finish and start packing. For hotel events, I ask that parking be covered, and that service tips be reimbursed. There are sometimes other specific venue related variables, which I only ask to be reimbursed for.

Technical data: Sound System- Fender PD250 Mobile PA system (Bose designed speaker) CD System- Tascam CD302 Dual CD System Behringer 15″ sub effects/Lighting- small mirrorball, flame, fogger, bubbles, multi-color chase…

Please get in touch with me. I’m happy to do house parties of any size. Call me at 510-594-0754 or e-mail me with any questions.

I Also: Rent sound system ($250 for the evening- I’ll set it up and take it down)
Cater-(Exotic tapas and meals for small parties)
Provide Computer Consulting and training
Provide Sound Engineering (high quality mics, mixer, etc. for acoustic live performance with minimal mic-ing (up to 8 mics))
Help in event and wedding planning and coordinating
Have contact for an excellent and reasonably priced Videographer
Have contact for an excellent and reasonably priced Florist
Have contact for an excellent and reasonably priced venues
Have contact for excellent and reasonably priced Stationery/invitations
Have contact for an excellent and reasonably priced turntable DJ
I don’t sing!

Music is a passion of mine. I play to listen, to enjoy, to dance. I love to see you dancing or lounging and enjoying the music. I feel the crowd and add music to enhance the energy. The music, the sound, is in the foreground, while I am in the background. As a caterer ‘s focus is on the presentation and flavor of the food (by the way, I cater too), mine is on the music. The caterer provides the cheese. I provide the rhythm. I believe the cheese belongs on the platter, not on the dancefloor. I strive to keep it off of the floor. If you are looking for a fun, talented, personal, professional DJ who is Not into the Cheesy fluff … Here I am! I am an Independent 1-person artist (I prefer not to call myself an operation, i’m a person).

Did I leave out any details?
Thanks for reading and for your support.

There are cheaper prices than this 4-hour $300 “up-and-coming” DJ who is “known to rock parties”. But unlike most Cheap DJs who are severely spelling challenged, this one can work a flowery phrase or two about his mix. I wonder how many will take him up on his promise:  “… if you want your next party to be bumpin’. I promise you’ll be glad you did and years from now they’ll still be talkin’ it up!” Years? In 2012 can I come back and get a refund because not a single friend who was at my “bumpin’” party talks about it anymore?

UPCOMING HOUSE PARTY DJ (THURSTON AND KING COUNTY)
Reply to: serv-984358556@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-01-07, 5:16PM PST

About RDJ
RDJ is a local up and coming Hip Hop/Dance DJ known to rock parties. His colorful jams mix the latest hip hop flows with the hottest dance beats guaranteed to fill the floor. He spins old school with a new school flavor, and carries the crowd skillfully by keeping the tunes coming in superb motion. Reading the vibe of the crowd, RDJ weaves his music into the rhythm of the dancing. His blending, mixing, and scratching create a culturally enhanced energy fit to move any foot. With his innovative technique on the turntables and original song selection he’s a true virtuoso of his art. Be sure to contact him if you want your next party to be bumpin’. I promise you’ll be glad you did and years from now they’ll still be talkin’ it up! First two hours $100 per hour $75 per hour with a four hour booking A $50 deposit books your event contact RDJ (360)481-3035 :)

How many vegemite sandwiches can a DJ making $45 buy? I don’t mean $45 an hour – still way cheap by US standards. But $45 for the WHOLE NIGHT! This Cheap Craigslist DJ ad comes from Brisbane, Australia where their dollar is equivalent to 71 US cents. Let me do the math for you. That’s $31.95 for this DJ to play ALL NIGHT. Not even enough for hot dogs, let alone shrimp on the barbie.

CHEAP DJ FOR HIRE
Reply to: serv-vrb7h-1083290770@craigslist.org [Brisbane]
Date: 2009-03-20, 6:15PM EST

Indie/Electro/Rap/Old School
$45 a Night.

You won’t get a “perfect” wedding from this “cheep” DJ. At these prices, the best he can do is “prefit”. Of course that’s not even a real word, so why would you expect a real professional?

DJing is my thing! I’m Cheep! (Everett-Seattle)
Reply to: serv-wgk8j-1130177415@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-04-19, 2:55PM PDT

Hey book it now to insure a weekend . I have tons of references and music as well all gear is Very nice. I useualy include 3 visit in my wedding to insure a prefit job I go to rehersal as well. It’s all included in my price . Terry 425 330 1573

Sure, I love music too. But the continuing expense of running a professional business isn’t free. Music isn’t free. (Legal music, anyway.) My gear and its maintenance isn’t free. My DJ liability insurance isn’t free. (Oh right, only professional DJs have business insurance like a “real” business.) By saying he’ll spin for a “nonprofessional” price, how does that earn my confidence that other things he might do – or not do – are unprofessional. Like show up?

DJ SERVICES OFFERED (RALEIGH, DURHAM, CHAPEL HILL!!)
Reply to: ballard153@hotmail.com
Date: 2009-01-02, 8:16PM EST

Get professional dj services for nonprofessional prices!! I spin for the love of music, not for your paycheck. I mix a smooth blend of house, hiphop, mashups and top 40!! Feel free to contact via my email or my cell number 919-819-2223!! Shawn B.

I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a doctor or lawyer who says, “Pay me what you think I’m worth.” Or for that matter a mechanic or plumber or ANY professional who says, “I work for tips”. So if DJs are to be seen as a real profession instead of a fun hobby, at the very least shouldn’t we HAVE a price? The problem is your average person has no idea what an experienced professional DJ should be paid. Bet on them erring closer to $200 than $1000. Some might even be surprised we don’t work for beer and chicks.

**FREE DJ** weddings, parties (broward county)
Reply to: jimmydeharde@aol.com
Date: 2009-03-11, 1:46AM EDT

Why free? well…a tip from you whatever you think I was worth would be nice.

I did a reception past weekend and got $140 for 6 hours and I was happy. I received an email from the customers saying great job sorry we could only afford the $140.

I wrote back ,”no problem, I know times are tough for the both of us and I’m happy to be making something”.

If you give me a shot we could meet and I could show you an enormous collection and gear it to your liking–all professional equipment done professionally!

Email me if we could make it happen the same way–

There’s nothing funnier than a $200 DJ ranting on and on about how he’s the bomb and any DJ who charges more has to be ripping people off. How can a DJ be worth that much? Keep on believing that spinning at house parties and for “haven’t-got-2-nickels-to-rub-together” brides. Feel good that they spent more on their wedding cake than for your six hours of driving, schlepping in thousands of dollars in gear, and you working up a sweat all over your mixer. Yeah, it feels great to pack the dance floor. The day ego pays your Visa bill, you’ll be living large. (Oh right, you’re still living with Mommy and Daddy.) The big gigs will continue to evade you once they hear your Cheap price. Why would it make sense for someone to spend $20K on a wedding and 1% of that on their DJ…who if they were really any good would be charging more. Even at $1K, I’m sometimes told my rate is too cheap. But this email takes the (wedding) cake. Please to enjoy.

From: Rainier (teemingwithlife@gmail.com)
Sent: Mon 4/06/09 8:00 AM

Surely you jest? Here is a pro tip; anybody and their mom can DJ. And then to make matters worse, you’re a mobile DJ trying to rank on others in the community. The sucky part about DJing is that it’s hard to get involved in the community because of lame DJs with out of control egos. It’s always the same thing too: pay me a ton of money, I’ve been doing this forever so respect me, why does no one else understand the industry but me, where’s my fame, where’s the girls, etc. You probably can’t even scratch or mix worth a damn like any decent DJ of any genre should be able to.

But that’s my point, Rainier. Why do many Craigslist DJs care more about fame, girls, or their out of control egos than getting paid a decent wage? It seems the money is secondary to them having a venue to show off their “mad skillz”. Unless I’m spinning at a school or club or rave, I’m not scratching. What pro DJ would except at those types of parties? Most pro DJs don’t need to wikki wikki to show off or boost their egos, just keep the dance floor packed with great music programming and mixes – not just for the “cool kids” but for the bride’s 30- and 40-something Moms and Dads (and corporate CEOs) who sign the contract and the check.

Got more comments? Send them here.

He ain’t frontin’! This DJ really IS badass and he’s got the phone number to prove it. But for the paltry price of $175 (renting gear at a music store costs more!) c’mon…how badass can he really be? As for the “flexable” payment options, perhaps he charges less if he gets to play “ass” songs all night… “Baby Got Back“? “Shake Ya Ass“? And who can forget this Kinky Friedman favorite? I love the list of keywords at the end … but who’s “Dennis Donovan“?

Mobile DJ – $175 for 4 Hours (Craigslist SpEcIaL!!!) (pittsburg / antioch)
Reply to: serv-dwm47-1097863661@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-03-29, 1:22PM PDT

Badass DJ

keywords:

san francisco djs, dj’s,bay area music, bands,disc jockey,disk jockey,dj,weddings,wedding consultant, band, conventions,bar mitzvahs,musicians,entertainment,party,rock,80s,80′s,current music, hip hop,Motown,Funk,Soul,Swing,R&B,jazz,dances,corporate events,DJ’s,D.J.,wedding reception,wedding ceremony,party planner,live entertainment,c&w,alternative,latin,disco,jazz,top 40,ballroom,classic rock,classical,oldies,Dennis Donovan,Oakland,East Bay,Marin County,Bay Area,recorded music,folk music,dee jay, trio, quartet, quintet, 5-piece, 7-piece

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Here’s a DJ who can’t get cash-paying jobs, so he’s going old school (economy) by turning to the barter system. Now I’ve traded DJ services for stuff like restaurant credit, printing, advertising and such, but this guy’s wish list? I guess stressing out about no one paying to hire you means you NEED a little meditative massage.

TRADE – pro DJ services for personal training or yoga (eastside, seattle)
Reply to: serv-neqxn-1074091368@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-03-13, 7:13PM PDT

You need a professional DJ for your wedding or event and you don’t have much $$

Professional DJ – lots of experience, high quality equipment – check out the credentials – http://www.waSOUND.com

I need -

Personal training or Yoga / fitness / martial art sessions for newbie – need to get in shape for the summertime!!

If you have other services you are interested in trading for a DJ – please don’t hesitate to ask. Some options may include

Automotive work
Massage therapy
items / goods to trade – laptop, computer, electronics…I am pretty open.

Approximate value of services – $550

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